If we want to exist at the same social status as everyone else we met in public.
This is an excerpted from a conversation with a dear dear friend struggling to balance her gender ex
Just to bring up something that we seem to see beginning to surface, (in contrast to what main stream wants to see). Men, at least some, those like us or at varying degrees from us (who are Transgender or to some lesser degree are effeminate), who have a feminine quality. Would I believe, without the constructs of social sex binaries, be happy at a level that would make us happy but for the limits society places on us, not allowing this "femininity" to exist at any level. As a result, some of us who are in some manner "feminine" enough to desire to express it. Need to compensate for the social pressure, should be not be brave enough to just be effeminate men. In this befuddlement, we must transform our self image to that of a woman, to be seen as a viable persona, or at least this is the perception, so that we are not confused as homosexual men. I think that is so sad, and so limiting to the possibility of what a man can be. (Kudos to all the gay man who have pride in themselves for who and what they are!). This concept isn't much different from when women couldn't do things that were thought to be only things for a man to do.
Now please, I'm not a scholar and this is just my opinion ba
"The only issue if your male and in any way feminine/transgender/transsexual", is what society does discourage and to not recognize that men can be effeminate. It makes claims constantly and bolsters those claims with words and feelings that are hurtful and harmful if you can not live up to them because of your inner personal drive and feelings. What harm to society can happen because a few young males feel feminine? It is very much the same thing as those who believe being gay is being detrimental to society. "They are not" and neither are feminine men. We have finally lifted women out of the confines of being chattel, but sadly we have ignored the constraints we as a society place on men. You see, if men do not hold to the vision society places on them, then they are inferior! I'm sorry, but this is just bunk. Each and every individual has value. To force them to conform to some construct, because of their birth sex is unfair. The gradation of gender between the sexes is large, and we as a society have seen what those constraints have done to women and have move in a direction to cast them off so that women can fulfill their greatest potential. It's time we get off this concept that, "if a boy does not become manly or masculine, he is a failure"! We should know by now that each and everyone of us has a potential and a limit, and it should not be ba
From my input to a favorite blog "femulate"
I love your "absolutely" answer to family first questions.
For many of us, a full time transition or lifestyle of the feminine kind is interrupted by our families, as it should be (we are good moms and wives inside). Not to ignore the seriousness of some and the "Transxiety" of what and who we are, I understand that many put "themselves" first and in only those cases of sever mental anguish, a family having to deal with you as a different gender is better then dealing with a dead parent.
I think to many take the pink pill rather easily, and do so only because they can! Or even because others are. Actually I've come to think that most of us who can give up ourselves in favor of others are just more gender fluid then those "having to transition" or those born stereotypically gender aligned. I actually believe that we are just feminine males, juxtaposed to the masculine female in our society. It is my opinion that the important thread with in all of us here is, "If only we were allowed to be that feminine male"? I think there would be a lot less "transxiety". I'm sure a woman who can wear pants and a plan shirt is expressing herself in her unconsciousness knowing that she is a woman but not a feminine woman. Feminine and masculine are ex
When he came into this world
he let out a gentle cry.
Average length average weight
he had daddy's nose and momma's eyes.
The nurses bathed him and dressed him
then wrapped him like a tight glove.
Then gave him to his mother
who held him close with love.
Days turned into weeks and then into months
as he grew and grew.
Before long he was taking small steps
first one then two.
On his first birthday he received
toy trucks and cars and a bouncy ball.
What caught his eye the most
was a beautiful baby doll.
Everywhere he went
he would hold the doll close.
Mother always saw this
but daddy noticed the most.
As time went on
his dad would push him away.
His mom held him closer
but dad couldn't stay.
His mother knew then
that nothing would stop her now.
To let her little man grow
into a beautiful child.
He loved pink and glitter
and played with his tea set.
Then told his mother one day
to please get him a beautiful dress.
Once in his first dress
he gave it a twirl.
His mother saw then
he will make such a beautiful girl.
That first trip to the doctor
would be one to remember.
She found out that day
her son was transgendered.
Because of what the doctor
had said to her that day
She had to let Randy
start living as Renee.
Several years have passed now
and Renee is older.
Of all the people I've known
there are none bolder.
So if you come across a transgendered child
please give them a big hug.
It is so important that they know
that they are loved.
For those of us who were born with to much testosterone, don't by nature have the smoothest skin. So keeping it clean and moisturized is an absolute must! It has to be part of your everyday regime. Even a couple of times a day is better. I moisturize morning noon and night. And especially when I come back in from being outside (we are almost always outside exposed to the sun or the dirt even if it's just the dust in the air). Sun screen is always a must! Exfoliating helps too. Believe it or not, I take my make up off with a scouring pad, (a kitchen sponge with scotchbrite on the back) lol (sometimes I do it just to think I'm scrubbing the boy away)
1 cup Almond butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter (melted)
1 egg beaten
1 cup honey or maple syrup or agave syrup to taste. (I prefer 1/2 and 1/2 honey and maple syrup!)
3 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
3 1/2 cups Old fashioned rolled oats (Instant Quaker Oats works too)
1 cup Coconut Chocolate M&Ms (original recipe called for 1/2 cup shredded coconuts and 1/2 cup of semi sweet chocolate bits)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup of dried cherries (raisins or dates or any other dried fruit if you don't like cherries but I think they work best)
Mix liquid ingredients together first, stir in dried fruit and and nuts, then slowly add rolled oats. Mixture will thicken as you add oats stir until constant with a paste.
Press into a 9 x 13 buttered baking pan and cook at 350 degs for 20-25 mins. When done (just starting to turn dark around the edges) remove from oven, score the top into bars and let cool. Remove from Pan and cut into bars along scores.
Tomorrow is a great day to go shopping, and if you do, do it at JCPenny's. You will be supporting Ellen Degeneres, whom if you didn't know, is their ad spokes person. The is an advocate group called million mom's that want executives at JCP to fire Ellen because she represents bad family values.. Help to say no to these ignorant miss guided moms by shopping at JCP Sunday Febuary 11. What better valentine could we give!
I've been on EPfor probably a few months now, and have acquired a number of friends in my circle, and that's great! I try not to deny anyone that asks for a friendship.
Most of my friends here fall someplace on the T scale. They may be closeted fetish types, Cross dressers who have to hide from their wives an aspect of themselves that should be held in high esteem, because most married heterosexual cross dressers that I know of of have heard of try hard everyday to do the best for their families their wives their jobs, and hold themselves back because of the fear of loosing those things.. There are Transsexuals on my list who do the best they can everyday to live the life they always felt they should have been able to from birth. Not an easy thing when you switch genders in the middle of life tracks.
I also have some regular (not sure what that means other then they are not similar to me) people as friends in all their wonder and beauty, trials and tribulations. The what that they bring here and to my self is a joy to be hold. They especially give me confidence that people are beginning to understand that gender isn't just what you were born. it's the way you live.
The first reason I came onto EP was following a link for Transgender Children as in raising boys that want to be girls, or letting a boy who is feminine express this. Or even the situations where some female part of a family has initiated allowing/letting/showing/teaching a feminine value/life not usually taught to boys. To see it's acceptance commonality.To my dismay, most still insist teaching a boy anything thought to be female only is a disservice to that child. But that's not why I am writing this book, and it's not something I want to argue, because feelings in the negative are strong and that it's the most important thing to me now.
I just want to bring up friends on the internet, our circle lets say, those who in some way want to connect with someone that inspires, delights, turns on, or may express similar wants needs and likes. Some are quite vocal when they join my circle, some our as quite as a Church mouse. Though I would love for everyone to speak up and say what is on their minds when every they want, I know they will not. (though if everyone did, it's doubtful that I would be able to keep up with the email. So, friends in my circle and friends to be in my circle. don't be shy, I'm an open book, and I don't bite. If you want to say something say it, if you don't don't I don't mind. There are only a few things I do, and it usually revolves around behaviors of the pornographic lewd or promiscuous kind.
So friends, know that I appreciate each and everyone of you. And will try my best to give you what you came to me for if I can. The world needs people as friends. And I don't care what others say about having to accumulate numbers of them or those who connect and don't speak. It's the internet for Pete's sake, it doesn't cost me one red cent more if I have one friend or 1000.
Write to me, and I will always try to answer, it's just who I am.
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Previous PostsFitting a social construct, is what we "transgender" do, because we are forced to,, posted October 29th, 2013
I know this is going to disturb some of you, posted October 7th, 2013
transxiety, posted July 20th, 2013, 2 comments
O Beautiful Child of Ours, posted February 15th, 2013, 1 comment
My makeup tip, posted August 30th, 2012
Healthy Moring Breakfast Bar variation., posted June 14th, 2012, 2 comments
Shop for valentines (or anything) at JCPennies, posted February 11th, 2012, 2 comments
The friends in your circle, who are they, and why are they there?, posted January 29th, 2012, 5 comments
You don't have to be one or the other., posted January 22nd, 2012
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